Giving Back

March 14, 2014 - our dearest mother died of pneumonia. Her death did not come to us, the siblings, a surprise as she battled with the disease for some time. But even then, her passing left a huge vacuum in our lives, as her presence, especially towards her last years, turned our lives around. She knew, so well,  how we appreciated her and our late father's sacrifices and  preternatural vision, which swept us to where we are. She could not be more proud of herself, with the herculean handiwork she had crafted, in molding the idiosyncratic persona me and my siblings assume, into becoming better productive individuals. How she did seems amazingly unprecedented! We knew, that in our parents' death, they took with them the joy and pride, as we made them proud!

Looking back in my early years, before I took off to spread my wings, life in our household was tough and was always a constant struggle. Minimalist lifestyle, was all there is, not by choice. Poverty glued to the family so strongly, that at times, we made our parents felt 'mea culpa'. But despite of everything, our dear nanay made us turn around from this vapid predicament, to severe the imposing bondage of poverty. And that is by bequeathing to us the powerful legacy of education!

To honor the legacy of our parents - that is in proselytizing the transforming power of education, I initiated, and my siblings concurred,  the creation of a non-profit eponymous foundation dubbed as Bernardo-Sebastiana Doyungan Educational Initiative (BSDEI). The objective of this Initiative is to poverty is not a roadblock to success'. We humbly try to showcase ourselves, in  demonstrating the transforming power of education.  As such, the Initiative adopted the elementary school, where most of our siblings finished elementary education, and pupils in this school receive all the school supplies at the start of the every school year. To motivate pupils to do well in school, cash awards are given to top five honor roll pupils/students, in a few select schools thus far,  in appreciation and recognition of their academic
excellence, at the end of the school year. encourage the community, especially parents with school-age children and the pupils, the pursuit of education, despite of poverty.  Our Initiative embraces the time-tested cliche   " poverty is not a roadblock to success".

Now, on its fifth year of existence, we continue to go back to the elementary school where our educational journey took off. We have given cash awards to top five graduates in three elementary schools and a high school. We continue to encourage the people in that community to tool the children with education, as they look forward to our visit every start and end of the school year. Our Initiative, as we know, can only give this much of material support, but it is hoped that the impact is felt in the families decades after we gladly hand in school supplies to the pupils.

For certain, this Initiative commemorating our dearly beloved parents (Bernardo and Sebastiana Doyungan), is making them more proud of us. This is our way of giving back to them, by giving back to the community!

A 2017 Year Ender Reflection

Where did time go? Sounds a cliche, yet this question keeps on  popping in people's minds. Every time! And it does on mine. As I struggle to bring back the memories, both the good and  not-so-good, to  the surface, the events that unfolded this year before it slips away, I needed to close my eyes, then look back and scan every byte of the files archived  in my brain over the past months. I could hardly believe, the bit of difficulty I encountered in retrieving some of them. And so, I may just have to indulge with a few, which clearly stood out and provided the colorful tapestry of 2017!

I welcomed the year in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, with my family, in a vacation treat trip. Since our kids started leading their own lives,  seldom it happens that we are altogether in one place to usher in the new year. And so this one was so memorable for us! With a chef now in our family, it was almost impossible not to go on food trip, sampling on the diverse culinary cuisines Vancouver has to offer. And so we did, driving through the snowy roads, or queuing under the subzero temperature outside a not-so-fancy restaurant, just to enjoy what was considered the best ramen in town. One thing I noticed myself, this could very well be part of midlife crisis, is developing a little passion to explore new things, ones  I missed doing in my youth! Climbing up to the snow-capped Mt. Seymour in Victoria (British Columbia) with my kids, presented that rare opportunity for me to try snow skiing. What an experience it was, to conquer one of my life's greatest enemies - fear!

Time really flies so fast, that this year marks our three decades (yes - 30 years!) of marital bliss. Daughter Alison and her hubby Nathan, and with son Zaldy - planned and hosted our wedding anniversary celebration. A simple backyard ceremony, complete with entourage, was held under the Cathedral of the  Skies, to renew the marriage vows we made and  promised to keep and cherish 30 years ago. A church pastor officiated the traditional Filipino rites, which was witnessed by close family friends.  With social media, a live coverage of the ceremony allowed some relatives and friends to join us virtually!

Who could forget Harvey? Not Harvey Weinstein!., although this guy is equally unforgettable as hurricane Harvey (and which can be an interesting topic for another blog).  Truth to tell, the moment wife and I decided to leave Corpus Christi to seek shelter to a safer place following mandatory evacuation advisory due to the magnanimous catastrophic threat posed by Harvey, I was grappling with the greatest fear I ever have in my life. News about catastrophic devastation caused by hurricanes are, to me, horrendous. And here I was, in a predicament which sent chills down to my spine. While navigating through the intermittent sluggish traffic in the highway, my mind was out wandering and wondering about the hows, the whys and what ifs, if the threat of extensive damage delivered by a category 4 hurricane in the forecast came to fruition. The unthinkably horrible pictures of the destruction left by Katrina and catapulted New Orleans on edge, came rushing back to me.  Confusion overcast my mind, as I kept hoping against hope, at this time of hopelessness and uncertainty. Then, I recalled, 'I'll cross the bridge when I get there', one of my life's mantra. This roused me up to my senses,  kept my sanity, calmed me down and brought me inner peace, and made me conquer my greatest enemy - fear! And  sure,  Harvey made a catastrophic landfall with historic proportion as predicted, however, in nearby areas but not in Corpus Christi!

Snow in Corpus Christi? Nature, if not, the mineralogists must be kidding! And so I thought. I have this love-hate-relationship with snow, if not winter weather in particular. Having lived in Corpus for years now, where people still wear shorts in winter, and in our household, we don't even turn our heat on, makes me miss playing with snow. A few years back, when we drove to our old hometown in Kansas to usher in the new year , I was amazingly thrilled watching the snowflakes falling down from the skies blanketing the land. The level of excitement was almost comparable to the first time I had with snow. Then, last year's trip to Vancouver got us the chance to play with snow again! Thirteen years ago, in Christmas eve of 2004, people in Corpus Christi were treated and joyfully celebrated their white Christmas, the event was dubbed as Christmas miracle. I have not heard of any history of snowfall prior to this. And so recently, when the forecast consistently point snowing in our place, I was a hardcore doubting Thomas! And to give credit to the forecast, I gave it a benefit of a doubt, and I succeeded in convincing myself that utmost, snow would only come in flurries. I was absolutely wrong! Waking up, my eyes glowed in total excitement seeing the almost-always parched land blanketed with immaculately white snow! It was incredible but it happened!

Life is in itself a drama. Its saga is continuously serendipitous, and the story is entirely dependent on what tomorrow brings. Actors are unrehearsed, as they reveal their core of who they are in the ways they react to the life's daily grind. No script. No directors. No stage. And as the year 2017 is almost behind us, we  are inching towards the curtain call of this year's episode.

What a wonderful year 2017 has been! To friends and all, let's celebrate for great year!

Another Year Older

When my life hit a mid-century mark six years ago, I did a serious soul-searching. I looked back at my footprints, examined the things I did and the things I missed doing. And from that life's  new vantage point, I looked forward and made a bucket list of the things to do in the next 10, 20 or so years. Below is a part of the blog I wrote about the bucket list.

Visiting places I once dreamed to be, tops in my list. In the blog I wrote for my 50th birthday (Turning Five-O), I said  'I know there is a big wide beautiful world out there waiting to be explored. I'd love to meet the god and goddesses in their ancient territories in Greece; climb up to the top the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France; wander around the Stonehenge in England; jump into a camel's hump for a ride around the Pyramids in Egypt; or sample the foods along the streets of Florence, Italy'. Added to this is a visit to the Land Down Under! In my wishful thinking, a week-long travel to any of these places, one place per year, will keep my travel plans booked for the next ten years.

So where I am now so far, 6 years after? I guess, here and there!

                  

  Ayers Rock or Uluru in  Central Australia        Sydney, Australia waiting for the 

                                                                         new year 2014  to usher in.

                            

August 2016, Went to Paris, France just recently but did not get the chance to climb up to the top of the Eiffel tower, but I roamed around the mysterious Stonehenge in Salisbury, England.

                            

Wandered in the narrow cobblestone streets in Florence, Italy but I had never sampled their street foods.

Life's journey has been good. Been to many places not found on the bucket list. I still have get into the camel's hump and meet the gods and goddesses in Greece. But as I strike out items after items from the list, new items show up. This list may never get shorter, as the years keep coming to my life and only if I am still able.

For now, am just thankful as I start anew with another year in my life. Happy birthday, to me!

My Share of Politics

Politics was never a part of me while growing up. Largely because my parents were apolitical. It does not really  mean discussions about something politics in the households were nonexistent, then. There were, however, very limited - to  information that were disseminated through the radio, if not by word of mouth. My first awareness of an election was the  Macapagal-Marcos presidential election in 1965. No, I wasn't a voter that time! I waited for 16 years before I could, when voting age was still at 21.

I developed interests in political activism in college, as I moved from a far-flung village, where life is so naive and is plainly simple, to a metropolitan where the daily conundrum seems to involve politics. Even in the campus, some 'left-leaning' student organizations had their way, despite of the school's strict and highly restrictive regulations, engaging fellow students with extra-academic issues including socio-political activism. Got a few classmates and friends who were active, and had been out in the streets in rallies and demonstrations.

Not until I did my graduate work in UP-Diliman that politics slowly started rooting in my being. In the early afternoon of August 21, 1983, while we, the dormitory residents, were doing our sportsfest, news broke that Ninoy Aquino was assassinated in the Manila International Airport, on his arrival back to the Philippines. Waves and waves of demonstrations and protests were held daily following the well-staged event. And then, I found myself among so many, shouting and chanting, as we braved the heat and exhaustion, while walking from the Diliman campus down to Plaza Miranda.

I learned that as a citizen, I can't just be pathetic, indifferent or numb. I was endowed with senses of sight and hearing to see and hear how things are going around us, and the mental faculty to evaluate how the unfolding of events impact us and the generations who'll come after us. I was moved by the this question which relentlessly reverberated in the halls of UP - 'sinong kikilos kung walang kikilos, sinong kibo kung walang kikibo, kung hindi ngayon, kailan pa?'. There was my eureka moment. That I have the freedom to express what's on my mind, to be part of the voice that speaks for those who never had the chance to vent their minds.

I realized that politics is a way of life, not just only during elections. People choose individuals to lead the reins of governance who are in turn expected to protect the interests and to better the lives of the governed. But the politics we have known today has transcended way beyond the welfare of the governed, with interests permeating and funneled to personal gains and enrichment. To allow this unscrupulous practice to keep going is for the governed to do nothing!

Makibaka! Get involved!












  

Visiting Papa Cesar

        Our quick trip to the Philippines next week does not excite me at all. It's gonna be nothing short of depressing. It brings back sad memories of my most recent and equally short trip, almost two years ago, to attend my mom's funeral. Don't get me wrong, this time we're not traveling for same reason. May be close, as we‘ll visit my wife's dad, moribund on his deathbed, clinging to his dear life.

        I have always considered myself blessed, becoming a member of the Mozar family. It was an honor to have called Mama Alice to my late mother-in-law, whom I adored and loved just like my own, and Papa Cesar, the man I looked up to so highly.

         I did hear a lot about Papa Cesar, even before becoming a member to his immediate family. All the things I heard, though, can be knitted into few words - strict, disciplinarian, firm. Where a no means no - no buts, no ifs.

         Papa's strong fraternal (father) authoritative figure is something he put into practice long before becoming a father himself, this I was told. He took the responsibilities of being a father, along with his mother, at a relatively early age, when his father left them raising another family. And for this, he earned high regards and respect from everybody - his siblings, his family, his colleagues at work, the community.

         Knowing and noting what Papa was like, I took caution and gathered a lot of courage when I first came to Mainit, Surigao del Norte, to meet him with the intent of asking for his permission for me to marry her 'favorite' daughter. I anticipated a few things, not necessarily akin to the 'Meet The Parents' antics, which kept my mind guessing wildly while we're on our way aboard a passenger bus.  I learned he does not have any vices at all. And that he keeps himself busy tending to  his fighting cocks, when not at work as the principal in the local public high school. He enjoys going to local cockfight games, betting for his cock, or somebody else's, his way of unwinding during weekends. I never was a fan of cockfighting and had been to a few games just in the neighborhood, but I tried preparing myself for this possible topic for conversation.

         While in Mainit, I waited for the opportune moment when I can talk with him about my sincere intention. Back in my mind, I'd been rehearsing the lines I had to say, so many times. The day came when we were to leave town, armed with my rehearsed lines, I joined Papa while doing his usual morning routine feeding his fighting cock collection. I was about to open my mouth to deliver my lines when he, in a soft spoken voice, asked me, 'what are your plans? when are you planning to settle down?'.  Whoa! Things were made easy for me!

         I came to know more and more about Papa as the 28 or so years of being a family member came and went.  He is a man of candor, honor and few words. He is a public servant in most of his adult life, mentoring young minds on the importance of education while straightening the crookedness of the misguided few kids, all aimed at making them productive members of society. He is  a friend to many who believe in his leadership, and a foe to a few who despise him for standing firm to what is fair and just. As most people do, he lives mostly within his comfort zone.

         He is such a thoughtful father. My wife, third in the brood of five, told me she cannot forget the moments when Papa cooked adobo, packed it on empty milk tins and sent it to her when she was in college. I cannot thank him enough for his thoughtfulness, when he kindly shelled out  personal money for the installation of water pump in our humble abode, after finding out our water supply problem. This is just to name a few!  For certain, his other children would have more to say, attesting to  his thoughtfulness and loving kindness.

         Lately, as Papa's sun approaches the other end of the horizon, his age takes a toll on him. Alzheimer's slowly takes away the priceless and precious memories of his, once,  illustrious life and career. A mild stroke affects his motor and coordination functions, affecting among other things,  his gait. Then, a bacterial infection clandestinely eats the muscles on his leg - a condition called necrotizing fasciitis, causing the dismemberment of his right leg. Recurrent pneumonia makes breathing for him a chore. And right now, he's lying on his bed at home, discharged from the hospital as the attending physician ran out of treatment option for him!

        As we prepare to physically visit Papa Cesar, I had the opportunity to visit with him in the past, bringing back to the surface of my mind all the good memories of a good man and a great father. 

     Hang in there Pa, we will be there soon.

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Update: Papa breathed his last while we were still en route to the Philippines. A sad quick homecoming, yet it ended up with a happy note - the ills and pains that mortals endure are no more for him.

Mini Diary - My Trip to the Land Down Under

December 16, 2014.  Tuesday. Left house for Corpus Christi International Airport 300 pm for the first leg of our trip to Melbourne, Australia, A 6:00 pm American Air flight brought us to  Dallas-FortWorth where a gigantic Qantas Airline two-storey plane would bring us to Sydney, Australia. American Air is always known for delays, and for this were nearly missed our Aussie-bound connection. The flight to Sydney from Dallas was very long,  a little over 16  hours, cruising across the vast Pacific Ocean. Initially, just the thought of this long flight seemed an ordeal for me. But time flew so fast, specially as I was not mindful about it. After watching an inflight movie and with some sleep, not quite restful though, I woke up with just the few remaining hours of the long flight.

December 18, 2014. Thursday. Arrived in Sydney, Australia on schedule, 6:40 in the morning to be exact. Because Sydney is 17 hours ahead our local Texas time, it seemed I missed a day, December 17 that is.  We trooped to the baggage claim to pick up our checked suitcase before clearing ourselves with Australian Immigration and Customs. Our suitcase did not fly with us, it turned out, and so we had to seek lost baggage service assistance with Qantas Airlines. Wife and I were a little apprehensive if our checked baggage made it to the Dallas-Sydney connection. Having spent so much time in the baggage claim carousel, hoping that our checked luggage would show up, we missed our Sydney-Melbourne original connection. Good thing, Qantas did not have problem in booking us to the next available flight to Melbourne. So Melbourne... here we come!

My anticipation for a summer weather meeting us in Melbourne proved unrealistic. Turned out, the temperature forecast for the next days ranged similar to what we've been having in Corpus Christi. Our first night in Melbourne was capped with a nice dinner along with the lively never-ending chitchats and nice wine, with our kind and hospitable hosts - David and Zoraida Sudweeds.

December 19, 2014. Friday. Day 1. It seemed quite unusual that despite of the 17-hour difference separating Corpus Christi from Melbourne, I did not get a jet lag. Anyway, Bing and I were up early preparing for day of our vacation. Destination: Melbourne City tour.  Took the tram to explore the city. Got to tour inside the Victorian Parliament, marveling on the sparkling gold-studded ceilings. Dropped by the Rod Laver Arena, venue of the world famous Australian Open Tennis Tournament. Capping the lazy city stroll was a climb to the Memorial of Remembrance.

December 20, 2014. Saturday. Day 2. Get lag was not really that bad. Wife and I were both roused by early morning  hunger pangs as we skipped dinner last night, and retired early exhausted from the day's city tour. Today, our gracious hosts would drive us some 250 kms to the country for an overnight stay in Raymond's island upon their friends' invite. I was excited for this trip to have a close encounter with koalas on their natural habitat.

Got to Raymond Island, Paynesville, Victoria past 2 pm, and were met by the equally gracious and wonderful couple, Peter and Jill Peterson. Peter kindly gave us a tour to the island, driving us around to sites frequented by kangaroos, and where koalas take their daytime respite. The day was capped by a very nice Australian dinner with wine, and a lot of chitchats.

December 21, 2014. Sunday. Day 3. Still romanticizing in Raymond Island. As if I didn't have enough about the koalas, I was gazing at rubber trees to have a glimpse of the sleeping koalas as we walked around the Island, this time by foot following the koala trail and on the board walk. The scenery was relaxing. I would understand why many Australian retirees opted to live on the Island, including Peter and Jill. Being close to nature gives that feeling of tranquility and being in life's harmony, too remote from their once stressful metropolitan lives.

After lunch, Zoraida drove us back to Melbourne, in time for the dinner invitation of Doods (Dodong Meliton), Zoraida's younger sibling, and his wife Joy and family. It was very nice seeing them once again, The last time I saw them was a decade ago before they set foot to Australia. Likewise, it was a pleasure meeting Alda (Zoraida's sister) and husband Leo, and their children for the first time.

December 22, 2014. Monday. Day 4. Up for another out-of-city trip. Zoraits drove for about 10 hours total for us to see the spectacular The Great Ocean Road and unto the Twelve Apostles in Port Campbell, Victoria. The Great Ocean Road is a long and winding road zigzagging along the white sand covered coastline of the Southern Sea. Driving through scenic view was a wondrous treat especially to nature lovers. The same road then departs off the coastline traversing through a deep forest reserve and brought us back to another part of the ocean where land formations, originally twelve of them thus called the Twelve Apostles stood, in Port Campbell, Victoria. Apparently,  four of the 'apostles'  have seemingly been down and drowned, eroded as the ocean waves eternally keep touching their sun-kissed stratified bodies.

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We Have Come This Far....

     

Last Tuesday, April 8, my wife and I  celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary. Could hardly believe we have come this far, living and sharing our lives together! The years seemed to  have come and gone too quickly. As I tried to look back those years gone by, memories of our blissful years came rolling down my brain. And I chart them to where they are now as our marriage has come this far.

      Our household used to be a playpen of two lovely and adorable kids. Early on, our lives revolved around them, insuring that we were there for them all the time.They filled our lives as a family in ways too many:  joy, satisfaction, pride, anxiety, some rage, and tons of love. They taught us many things, among them how to care, love, share our lives with them. And they made us realize that we don't own them, instead we are just their stewards, a transit point in their journey called life. That, in due time, we had to let them fly and set them free, leaving us back to each other to the time before they came to us!

    Our kids are now out there, charting a  course as they carve their niche in this, oftentimes, harsh reality called life. Their departures left a vacuum and a wide space to ourselves. I nurtured mixed feelings, a celebratory gladness and  a sense of loss, when we walked our daughter down the aisle in their garden wedding last year. But didn't we do this 27 years ago? Ahh, the cycle of life! Living on an empty nest, that is what we are now. However, this vacuum is partly filled by a feline whose antics and ways, at times, kept our eyes at her!

     So what may have kept us come this far?

     Complacency, a little bit of it, could be a part of the norm as the years keep adding to our marriage. However, part of who we are as individuals, big or small, remains  and hopefully, will continue to be respectfully held high, rather than becoming an abject desire. For this keeps us as a person. Compromise, unconditional forgiveness, patience, deep level understanding, undying love, and sometimes, self-denial are some of the ingredients that may keep our  flame of marriage burning! This, however, is spiced up with marital spats and LQ's (lovers' quarrels), preventing humdrum to seep in into our relationship!

     Developing tolerance to certain things, is a major player for making a  compromise.  This is not to find our ways, our likes, our images in our spouse. Making some changes to meet halfway, or trying to accept things the way they are, seems no brainier! When there is so much love around! This could either be a practice of 'sweet surrender' or simply 'just do it'. As Blake Shelton, a famous country singer songwriter puts it on his song, 'I keep doing what she likes'! 


    Twenty seven years in our marriage have come and gone! We look forward to many more years together! And we'll continue to value and celebrate those years as they come, one year at a time!

    Happy anniversary my dear wife!