Our household used to be a playpen of two lovely and adorable kids. Early on, our lives revolved around them, insuring that we were there for them all the time.They filled our lives as a family in ways too many: joy, satisfaction, pride, anxiety, some rage, and tons of love. They taught us many things, among them how to care, love, share our lives with them. And they made us realize that we don't own them, instead we are just their stewards, a transit point in their journey called life. That, in due time, we had to let them fly and set them free, leaving us back to each other to the time before they came to us!
Our kids are now out there, charting a course as they carve their niche in this, oftentimes, harsh reality called life. Their departures left a vacuum and a wide space to ourselves. I nurtured mixed feelings, a celebratory gladness and a sense of loss, when we walked our daughter down the aisle in their garden wedding last year. But didn't we do this 27 years ago? Ahh, the cycle of life! Living on an empty nest, that is what we are now. However, this vacuum is partly filled by a feline whose antics and ways, at times, kept our eyes at her!
So what may have kept us come this far?
Complacency, a little bit of it, could be a part of the norm as the years keep adding to our marriage. However, part of who we are as individuals, big or small, remains and hopefully, will continue to be respectfully held high, rather than becoming an abject desire. For this keeps us as a person. Compromise, unconditional forgiveness, patience, deep level understanding, undying love, and sometimes, self-denial are some of the ingredients that may keep our flame of marriage burning! This, however, is spiced up with marital spats and LQ's (lovers' quarrels), preventing humdrum to seep in into our relationship!
Developing tolerance to certain things, is a major player for making a compromise. This is not to find our ways, our likes, our images in our spouse. Making some changes to meet halfway, or trying to accept things the way they are, seems no brainier! When there is so much love around! This could either be a practice of 'sweet surrender' or simply 'just do it'. As Blake Shelton, a famous country singer songwriter puts it on his song, 'I keep doing what she likes'!
Twenty seven years in our marriage have come and gone! We look forward to many more years together! And we'll continue to value and celebrate those years as they come, one year at a time!
Happy anniversary my dear wife!
