I don't blame some people for choosing not to become fathers. I dislike people who, through their own volition, irresponsibly refuse to become fathers to the children they sired and helped brought into the world. And I admire people who desired and stood up as fathers to countless children who may, otherwise, have lived and grown without fathers. For 'any man can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad.'
I have two lovely grown up children now. So this makes me a father! No doubt about it.
Now, am I a dad to them? Who knows! I can only hope....
If raising kids makes one person a dad, then I should be one! For, along with my wife, I did help raising them to whoever they are today. But I don't claim any credit for 'making' them who they are and what have become of them now. For they are who they are. I may just have been a set of 'Dos and Don'ts' to them, and may be a little bit more!
Becoming a dad is a nature's gift. It comes in nicely as a package of role to portray, a game to play, a commitment to dutifully fulfill, and most of all, a life to live! The role was challenging for I definitely dont want to be their model. I have my flaws, insensitivities, temper and my fickle-mindedness. The game was seemingly difficult in the absence of established set of rules. And the playing field was so vastly immense, limited only to my imagination! The commitment was life-long, although as I see it now, it gets a little less demanding as the children get older. And the life.. am still getting there. A rollercoaster ride it has been so far...!
I could safely say I was almost always there for my children since they were born. Almost because while I was always around for our daughter since she was born, I was in absentia, by necessity, during the first one-and-a-half years of our son. I just hope my absence did not make less of a dad. For sure, he may not know it!
Watching these once tiny kids grow was always a source of profound happiness and pride. I could relate myself to my dad who'd always see to it that he was around in any of our school programs to watch us perform a part or receive recognition. They continue to shower us with so much pride, boosting our egos and making us even more proud with their stellar achievements, especially in school.
Now that my kids are grown ups, I feel a void building inside me. For it won't be long, I will not be seeing them more often . I wonder if I could even hear their voices. I feel a little sad and lonely as I start to feel losing my little girl. Soon, she will be out navigating the waters in her own life's journey! And with my son declaring his independence!
Many times, not in the distant past I wished my children did not get to grow to who they are now. If only we could stay together! But this selfish thinking, is not what a dad should embrace. As what my son told us, 'let the bird fly', and so fly he does to start finding out for himself what the world has to offer.
A word of advice to young dads out there... cherish every moment with your kids. For they grow so fast. Before you know it, they are kids no more! And time for them to be on their own!
Happy father's day everyone!
