Done With Life

About a month ago, a colleague in our Department, lost his dad after battling with a debilitating disease for quite a time. From his countenance, I could sense he was harboring mixed emotions. A smile in his face, as I expressed my sympathy to him,  meant he was glad seeing his beloved father relieved of the pains and sufferings he endured through the past years. It must be very difficult for him and his family seeing a moribund loved one day after day. Then as he bit his lip, I felt the grief his heart was keeping, for the eternal loss. But he was quick to regain his composure,  deeply consoled that his dad is done with his mortal sufferings and with the thought, as his faith promises, that he is heaven-bound. A year earlier, another colleague of mine mourned for the death of his dad, three days after which his father-in-law passed away, all succumbed to infirmities which kept them bed-bound for the remaining years of their lives. And all I could gather from him was a sigh of relief, from the painful sight of seeing his dad waging a fight he could not win and for his dad as the end of his sufferings came to pass.

I was thinking about, what if I am in a situation where my life is characterized by nothing but physical pains and afflictions? That after exausting all available modern medical interventions there is, still there isn't  any relief in sight. And the intense physical suffering gets worse every day as it is augmented by the psychological pain  of self-pity generated by the bitter feeling of sheer uselessness.Where I am totally emasculated from doing things I used to, and have to rely on machines with a network of  tubes delivering air and food to, and removing wastes from my body. Then I'd say, I am done with my life. I would sign a waiver seeking a medically-assisted end of my life.

This is euthanasia, also called mercy killing! It is an act of ending a person's life who has been terminally ill by witholding extreme medical interventions. Suicide with consent! This is one of the hotly contested topics for ethical debates. To do or not to do, poses a great dilemma as it creates a divide among many health providers as well as the family members. Euthanasia has also been a subject for long debates in the halls of lawmakers arena. And it has been judiciously argued, with a lot of attention, in the halls of justice, as famously hallmarked by the case of Terri Schaivo.

I offered a course called Controversial Topics in Biology during aWinter Term, three years ago and our class tackled several issues that were, well controversial! I introduced euthanasia through a tear jerking foreign movie titled Done With Life. It's about one man on the way to the peak of his youthful life, which is peppered with feats and accomplishments unusual to any man his age. But he, unfortunately, did not get to where he quite wanted as an unusual accident cut him. He dived in a cliff and he landed at the back of his head, breaking his neck. Becoming quadriplegic was the major source of miseries in his life. After the surreal twists and turns of events in the story,  he eventually ended his life with the help of a medical doctor who prepared the 'drinks'  he had to binge on to kill himself slowly and less painfully.

My students, when asked to give their reactions, as usual were divided close to fifty-fifty. The pragmatists did not doubt taking the same route as the hero in the story. While the conservatives and probably the moralists, on the other hand, were apt to passing their strong disagreement to ending a life which they considered  sacred and given to him by their creator. This scenario reflects a microcosm of  what and how does the society deal with this issue.

Nobody has been incriminated for attempting to commit suicide. But many have been incarcerated for trying to murder a person, pre-meditated or otherwise. One can take another person's life  in the name of self-defense without going to prison. Which means, one's life is really valuable. Just like any valuables, one person's life belongs only to him. And so, I thought, a person is entitled to do anything with his life. For as long as he fully knows the consequences of his action. This is especially so if the person wishes to relieve himself from the pains and burdens he's carrying through for the rest of his life.

For A Dear Sister on Her Birthday!

Every child is a gift from heaven. This is what our parents believed. Getting married at early age, teens to be more precise,  our parents had a long way ahead of them. And so, our first sibling (a girl)  came, followed by another one, then another one… then me, the seventh child. Plus two more after me. .. We thought that was it.  Then, came our last sibling, after a hiatus.

I was about nine when we welcomed our youngest sibling, Berse (she is also fondly called Angging in our family) to this mortal world.  She was the apple of the eyes of many in the family. She was well loved, the privilege she naturally  received being the youngest. But she never grew up a spoiled brat.

In our family, the older siblings were, at times,  charged with looking after the younger ones. And I had my share of babysitting the younger sisters, especially when my older siblings were all at school. This brought me closer to my younger siblings, and Berse, being the littlest always deserved more of my attention. She told me, she could remember fondly enjoying a piggyback ride she got from me when we were heading somewhere.

One thing I could remember so well about Berse is her being an industrious person. As a young child, she would find ways to earn a little  money for herself. I thought this was a trait predicting her success in the future. 

I was off to college when Berse was starting grade school. Away from home for 8 years, the only times I could see her were during short visits  at Christmas or summer vacation. In 1985, job brought me back close to home and about that time, Berse was starting college. This was the time Berse and I were closely associated again, as she went to the school where I worked as a professor.  Through the years, I saw her transformation into a very responsible person. I even teased her as 'sipsip', showing extreme loyalty to one of her favorite college professors. We parted our ways again after her graduation from college as she started teaching in a high school somewhere.

Fast forward.... today Berse, our baby sister, turns 42 years old. And yes, she lives a simply full life. She is blessed with a nice family, intelligent kids and a very successful career. There is one thing I admired so much about her, being the caregiver to our octogenarian mother. Living alone like a single mother since husband Roger is working overseas, I thought it was difficult for Berse to lead a normal life, with our frail and ailing mother,  three  kids with two teenagers, and acting as head teacher in two elementary schools. I thought she has so much on her plate. But I have never heard her complaining. On top of that, she seems to be the go-to person when a sibling or two are in need of something, especially financial matters.

I am greatly indebted to Berse.  She has done the greatest job which nobody else in our family has ever done, caring for our dear mother. Words are not enough to express my heartfelt thanks and appreciation to our baby sister. 

Now I realized why heaven sent her, the youngest sibling in our family.  Because if she did not come, who would take care of mother? If the older siblings were to take care of the younger ones, then the youngest will take care of the old folks! LOL..

Happy birthday dear sister! We wish you with continued success in your family and in your career! I owe you something... a trip to the US with a stop over in Canada someday soon!